Mike Ford :: Total Consciousness

Like many men, I believe my understanding of women and what they want peaked right around the time I purchased the engagement ring and has been degrading in cycles since then. I am joking of course but not really. One early Saturday morning last winter I awoke in an industrious mood and set out to fix a kitchen drawer that was off its track. I would soon come to learn that it was I who was off the track.

In order to fix the drawer I had to remove it completely and in the process just missed losing a toe as 25 pounds of razor sharp utensils came flying out. I survived with a modicum of noise and cursing. A couple new wood screws, some WD-40 later and I was ready to star on This Old House; proud of any weekend handiwork accomplished without the use of duct tape.

On my third or fourth attempt to jam the drawer back into place I decided to lighten the load temporarily and remove a few items. I can’t go into complete detail for fear of reprisal but the sheer quantity, weight, variety and sharpness of items in that drawer was astonishing. Any non-silverware utensil we owned seemed to be in that drawer. To make things worse, there was a leaking, soy sauce packet that I had somehow skewered with a yellow, corn cob holder or lobster claw pick.

I know -He didn’t fix the drawer and not clean up the soy sauce?

Cmon. Every guy knows the it’s not “what you do but how you clean it up” rule.

Yes, I cleaned up the drawer but that soy sauce caused a series of Y-chromosome decisions that I will rue and you may learn from.

To clean up the soy sauce, I emptied the drawer. When I emptied the drawer, the number of repetitive utensils was immediately evident as they found freedom on the counter. For instance, I found seven spatulas (pictured), multiple large spoons, four sets of measuring cups/spoons each missing one or two sizes, random chopsticks and few wine openers I had been looking for.

1. Guy thought #1: Fix drawer - good.
2. Guy thought #2: Clean up - better but expected.
3. Guy thought #3: ORGANIZE the whole drawer for her and throw out all the old utensils- GREAT, WOMAN HAPPY.
4. Guy thought #4: Less utensils, lower weight - won’t have to fix drawer again.

Guys usually say “Ok, sounds reasonable”, “man, you are whipped” or “you should have used graphite spray instead of WD-40″. Women have a different reaction, especially when they find out I don’t cook or spend much time in kitchen. (I do grill but that is just to play with fire.)

What would your reaction be? Happy? Not happy? Why?

My company, TownConnect, is incorporated in Delaware and I recently had some interaction with their Division of Corporations. My experiences with state and local governments has been limited to dealing with the Registry of Motor Vehicles and paying lots of parking tickets. It used to be these agencies were designed to suck the life out of you as a deterrent: waiting in line, filling out forms, having to come back, and other inane policies. Most of these agencies have come a long way incorporating modern service processes and online tools. The State of Delaware Division of Corporations really has their act together and I was extremely impressed at how helpful they were.

Things I liked:

1. Website: Liveperson chat feature to get questions answered immediately without waiting on the phone. Full transcript emailed to me so I could forward to accountants and lawyers and have a record of what we needed to do.
2. They emailed the forms I needed to fill out while we were in the chat session. The forms were already pre-filled with my corporate information.
3. Personal service: After we filed a request, a customer service agent followed up with a phone call as we had omitted a few pieces of information. Rather than forcing us to start the process over she helped us complete the form over the phone.

Background –

When we incorporated TownConnect we chose a corporation vs. an LLC so that our staff could participate in a stock option plan. Based on the numbers of shares you authorize, the state bills you franchise taxes accordingly. Thinking big — we authorized a lot of shares which resulted in a franchise tax bill over $30,000. Now, TownConnect didn’t really owe $30,000 because there is alternative method of filing (par value) which put our tax bill under $150 for our first year of operations.

I wonder if there are many startups who authorize a smaller amount of shares and who just pay the bill not knowing they are overpaying?

The alternative method requires a few forms to be filled out and sent in. Unfortunately, we hadn’t hired a bookkeeper yet and filling out forms ranks really low on my priority list so didn’t get around to it. When the Division of Corporations sent a letter regarding the tax filing and our status, it was time to take action.

After a false start delegating this to my bookkeeper, I investigated.  Rather than wait on hold and navigate options, I was able to get my questions answered in a live chat session (7 minutes) and one phone call (they called me).

Special thanks to our customer service rep, Dot Savage, who was very helpful.