Like many men, I believe my understanding of women and what they want peaked right around the time I purchased the engagement ring and has been degrading in cycles since then. I am joking of course but not really. One early Saturday morning last winter I awoke in an industrious mood and set out to fix a kitchen drawer that was off its track. I would soon come to learn that it was I who was off the track.
In order to fix the drawer I had to remove it completely and in the process just missed losing a toe as 25 pounds of razor sharp utensils came flying out. I survived with a modicum of noise and cursing. A couple new wood screws, some WD-40 later and I was ready to star on This Old House; proud of any weekend handiwork accomplished without the use of duct tape.
On my third or fourth attempt to jam the drawer back into place I decided to lighten the load temporarily and remove a few items. I can’t go into complete detail for fear of reprisal but the sheer quantity, weight, variety and sharpness of items in that drawer was astonishing. Any non-silverware utensil we owned seemed to be in that drawer. To make things worse, there was a leaking, soy sauce packet that I had somehow skewered with a yellow, corn cob holder or lobster claw pick.
I know -He didn’t fix the drawer and not clean up the soy sauce?
Cmon. Every guy knows the it’s not “what you do but how you clean it up” rule.
Yes, I cleaned up the drawer but that soy sauce caused a series of Y-chromosome decisions that I will rue and you may learn from.
To clean up the soy sauce, I emptied the drawer. When I emptied the drawer, the number of repetitive utensils was immediately evident as they found freedom on the counter. For instance, I found seven spatulas (pictured), multiple large spoons, four sets of measuring cups/spoons each missing one or two sizes, random chopsticks and few wine openers I had been looking for.
- Guy thought #1: Fix drawer – good.
- Guy thought #2: Clean up – better but expected.
- Guy thought #3: ORGANIZE the whole drawer for her and throw out all the old utensils- GREAT, WOMAN HAPPY.
- Guy thought #4: Less utensils, lower weight – won’t have to fix drawer again.
Guys usually say “Ok, sounds reasonable”, “man, you are whipped” or “you should have used graphite spray instead of WD-40″. Women have a different reaction, especially when they find out I don’t cook or spend much time in kitchen. (I do grill but that is just to play with fire.)
What would your reaction be? Happy? Not happy? Why?
August 26th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
how could Sheri not be happy–you attempted to fix something and she didn’t have to wait for a handyman–that’s doing more than most men I know (although most I know are Jewish) do!!!
October 1st, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Awee.. I came across this site trying to find a singer.. and I was intrigued by how the story started. So I decided to proceed:P
The woman should be extremely happy. It’s not only men that would just leave the mess and be thoughtless about it. Women are too whether they like to believe it or not.
Congradulations on fixing the drawer full of soy sauce and things that don’t belong.
There needs to be more men like you:)
October 20th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Ahhh, the thought behind it was sound. The lack of experience and knowledge as to what each utensil is actually used for, bad. When you learn how to cook something other than cheesy eggs, maybe the need for a plethora of diverse cooking tools will come in handy. Good luck with that grilling-wait a minute, we haven’t had a grill in years??
February 24th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
After reading this, I feel much better…finally someone less handy then me! However we do have a lot in common. My knowledge of women also peaked about 18 years ago (coincides with the engagement/wedding…). This has been confirmed about every day, thanks to my wonderful wife and 3 loving daughters. I also do not cook in the kitchen. I have tried on several occasions, but I always hear “but Mom does not do it that way” or “it tastes better when Mom cooks”. You will have to send me the recipe for the cheesy eggs though. But I do have a grill; with 3 burners!! Grilling season is right around the corner…along with soccer and baseball.