Mike Ford » men http://www.mikeford.com Total Consciousness Fri, 23 Jul 2010 18:00:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Life Lessons: Understanding Women Category http://www.mikeford.com/2008/08/life-lessons-understanding-women-category/ http://www.mikeford.com/2008/08/life-lessons-understanding-women-category/#comments Tue, 26 Aug 2008 08:02:54 +0000 Mike Ford http://www.mikeford.com/?p=60 Like many men, I believe my understanding of women and what they want peaked right around the time I purchased the engagement ring and has been degrading in cycles since then. I am joking of course but not really. One early Saturday morning last winter I awoke in an industrious mood and set out to fix a kitchen drawer that was off its track. I would soon come to learn that it was I who was off the track.

In order to fix the drawer I had to remove it completely and in the process just missed losing a toe as 25 pounds of razor sharp utensils came flying out. I survived with a modicum of noise and cursing. A couple new wood screws, some WD-40 later and I was ready to star on This Old House; proud of any weekend handiwork accomplished without the use of duct tape.

On my third or fourth attempt to jam the drawer back into place I decided to lighten the load temporarily and remove a few items. I can’t go into complete detail for fear of reprisal but the sheer quantity, weight, variety and sharpness of items in that drawer was astonishing. Any non-silverware utensil we owned seemed to be in that drawer. To make things worse, there was a leaking, soy sauce packet that I had somehow skewered with a yellow, corn cob holder or lobster claw pick.

I know -He didn’t fix the drawer and not clean up the soy sauce?

Cmon. Every guy knows the it’s not “what you do but how you clean it up” rule.

Yes, I cleaned up the drawer but that soy sauce caused a series of Y-chromosome decisions that I will rue and you may learn from.

To clean up the soy sauce, I emptied the drawer. When I emptied the drawer, the number of repetitive utensils was immediately evident as they found freedom on the counter. For instance, I found seven spatulas (pictured), multiple large spoons, four sets of measuring cups/spoons each missing one or two sizes, random chopsticks and few wine openers I had been looking for.

Sheree's Spatulas

  1. Guy thought #1: Fix drawer – good.
  2. Guy thought #2: Clean up – better but expected.
  3. Guy thought #3: ORGANIZE the whole drawer for her and throw out all the old utensils- GREAT, WOMAN HAPPY.
  4. Guy thought #4: Less utensils, lower weight – won’t have to fix drawer again.

Guys usually say “Ok, sounds reasonable”, “man, you are whipped” or “you should have used graphite spray instead of WD-40″. Women have a different reaction, especially when they find out I don’t cook or spend much time in kitchen. (I do grill but that is just to play with fire.)

What would your reaction be? Happy? Not happy? Why?

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